Friday, November 5, 2010

Blast from the Past: Kissing you

Today is Friday.  Woo!  On Fridays I'm going to have a series, Blast from the Past, mainly so I don't have to write anything new.  However, it could be interesting tracing someone's first inklings of *gasp* the Gay *ungasp*.  Anyways here is the first installment written about M!

 October 02, 2008

     I think of kissing you.  How would I feel?  Would it just be the dull feeling?  Would it be an explosion of sexual energy?  You bitch about life and I think it's cute.  I love being alone with you.  I love making you laugh.  I want to spend all my time with you.  Am I in love with you?  But here you are with a fiancé.   Will your marriage be successful?  I can tell we wouldn't be good in a relationship, but still I can't keep from thinking what it would be like to kiss you.  I think about hugging you, your warmth.  I spend all this time wondering.  And I will forever wonder until I find another man.  Will I accept marriage like my father did only to lead to the unhappiness of my spouse?  For now I live in a limbo, not knowing.  You'll never know how I felt about you.  I love you.  You make me question who I am.

QBP: "I am the love that dare not speak its name." -Lord Alfred Douglas

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