Blast from the Past: Snippets

February 27, 2009

I don't know how to let go.

But boy has she really pissed me off.  She has made me angry way more than she has helped me out.

Seriously this relationship is unhealthy.  Let go.  Let go.

September 08, 2009

This is torture.  I have two men in my life.  Both of whom would like to be in a relationship with me.  They want me, but I don't want them.


This sucks so hard. 


I know.  I'm lucky to have them.  I just wish I could feel for them.

February 15, 2010

I'm done with men. 

QBP: "I'm going gay. I've decided I'm turning gay. Willow, gay me up. Come on, let's gay." -Xander  Buffy the Vampire Slayer

     

Blast from the Past: A flash of blue

  December 03, 2008

     I tried cutting you out and it was hard.  But you made me love you, because I'm obsessed.  And you treat me so very differently than I treat you.  You're selfish.  I put my heart on my sleeve with you, so exposed and you ignore and bash it back in.  I don't know why I'm obsessed with you.  Your eyes maybe.  I know the shape of your body, the color of your hair, your jacket.  I know how you wear your hair.  Is this love?  I beg you to talk to me.  When I am hurt I call out for you and you turn me aside.  I check your Facebook profile many times a day.  I give you my best and my worst.  I look for you.  I know your friends and when they're around I look for you.  If I know the color of your shirt I look for it in the dining hall when we're sitting at different tables.  I do it covertly.  And I wish I was sitting with you at your table.  But this is wrong.  I need to fall out of love with you.  I know I have a strong will.  I just have to use it.  

      I will not love you anymore.  I am stronger than my mind.  I have proven it before.  I'll prove it yet again.

QBP: "As soon go kindle fire with snow, as seek to quench the fire of love with words." -William Shakespeare

Blast from the Past: Kissing you

Today is Friday.  Woo!  On Fridays I'm going to have a series, Blast from the Past, mainly so I don't have to write anything new.  However, it could be interesting tracing someone's first inklings of *gasp* the Gay *ungasp*.  Anyways here is the first installment written about M!

 October 02, 2008

     I think of kissing you.  How would I feel?  Would it just be the dull feeling?  Would it be an explosion of sexual energy?  You bitch about life and I think it's cute.  I love being alone with you.  I love making you laugh.  I want to spend all my time with you.  Am I in love with you?  But here you are with a fiancé.   Will your marriage be successful?  I can tell we wouldn't be good in a relationship, but still I can't keep from thinking what it would be like to kiss you.  I think about hugging you, your warmth.  I spend all this time wondering.  And I will forever wonder until I find another man.  Will I accept marriage like my father did only to lead to the unhappiness of my spouse?  For now I live in a limbo, not knowing.  You'll never know how I felt about you.  I love you.  You make me question who I am.

QBP: "I am the love that dare not speak its name." -Lord Alfred Douglas