I wore a tie to church Sunday…

     For church on Sunday I played in the orchestra during service.  As our dress code is all black for when we play I thought it was the perfect opportunity to try out my new black Tommy Hilfiger vintage slim (I say not for fashion’s sake, but because it has the best width for a slim upper body) tie.  As I tied my Windsor and adjusted it in the mirror, I started to feel anxious.

     This feeling increased as I walked to church.  In my head I was playing out a scenario in which the orchestra conductor looked over at me and my tie and just said “no” and then asked me to take it off.  From there I would insist that a tie wasn’t hurting anyone and I wouldn’t play without it.  Then things would escalate and I would make a dramatic show of leaving.  Then I would go teach my Bible Study class, cause I made a commitment and I stand by my commitments, and then a minister would come in and beg me to take off the tie.  I would again insist that such a small piece of clothing shouldn’t matter to anyone.  He would say he doesn’t care, but do it for the older people.  And again I would say no, and then never return to church again.

     Yeah.  My mind sorta goes into overdrive sometimes.  Then I thought that the above would probably not happen, but that I would get some awkwardness, faces, and questions about why would I wear a tie from my fellow Bible Study teachers and orchestra members.

     I stood tall, prepared for the worst, and strode into the Sanctuary where the orchestra was prepping and…NO ONE SAID A THING.  Not one person the entire day.  The closest to any recognition of the tie I got was a short double-take by my music stand partner.  Even the older ladies I work with to teach Bible Study showed no inkling of tie-worry. 

     I was almost disappointed!  But then I looked around and saw a friend of mine, a gay male, who was wearing a hot pink polo, jeans, and heavily gelled hair.  Oh and the skinny tall gay seminary student wearing a full length fake (obviously) leopard print stole.  Compared to all of that my tie was a pittance.  God loves me no matter what I wear and apparently so do the parishioners of my church.

     So Sunday I wore a tie to church…and no one cared.  The end. 

QBP: "Church is the only place where someone speaks to me and I do not have to answer back." -Charles de Gaulle

 pic source

Formal wear

     I had to buy a suit a few weeks ago.  Wanting to be hetero-normative for the interview I needed the suit for, I went to a female oriented store.  One of my Aunts offered her “advice” without my asking for it (as family does) and told me to make sure I didn’t get a blouse that was “macho”.  Okay…someone please tell me what a macho blouse looks like, because my thought is that blouses are distinctly feminine.  Even the word sounds feminine.  Well of course I bought a pantsuit; I haven't worn a skirt since junior high. The suit looks great and feel great, and that’s good enough for me.  Combine that with a button down my roommate lent me and I looked pretty fantastic. 

     However after acting more feminine than I am at my interview I wanted to try something out.  I tried on a different button down, my suit jacket, and a new skinny tie I had purchased.  After trying out first a half Windsor, and then a full Windsor I found my favored tie knot.  The combination made me look real good.  But more importantly I felt like a million bucks.  Whenever I’ve worn a dress I’ve wondered how I much longer I had to wear it.  My friends would laugh at how I looked like I was being tortured.  It was a form of torture, ranking up there with death by spider bites (Buffy reference anyone?).  As I stood in front of the mirror, I realized I didn’t want to take it off, though it looked a little weird as I was wearing my pajama pants.

     It’s strange, perhaps even queer, the powers inherent in the tie.  It’s a strip of cloth that can transform a person more so than any other accessory.  Mystical powers.

     I took a few pictures and was struck by my appearance.  I compared a photo with one of me a little less than a year ago.  Long hair, glasses, along with my tomboyish clothes.  I looked disconnected particularly when compared to the formal wear pic.  It truly is amazing how much clothes and hair can make the (wo)man.

QBP: "Be sure what you want and be sure about yourself. Fashion is not just beauty, it's about good attitude. You have to believe in yourself and be strong." -Adriana Lima

The suit I wore to the interview

The other outfit