The first meeting of the ministry was this past Sunday. Though the invitation to the meeting was extended to all regardless of sexual orientation, I was the only one there who was not openly gay. One of my church friends was there and I think he assumed I was there because of my brother being gay. That’s half the reason why I attended. I want to help young and older gay people know that God loves them, and that they are loved. I want them to know that the loudest voices in their lives aren’t the only ones.
I wanted to tell my story, my brother’s story. But I wasn’t ready. I’m the type who has to think before she speaks. However my thoughts weren’t cooperating. My mind was jumble of words and feelings. So instead I listened to the stories of the others.
Most of them grew up in conservative churches. They knew they were gay from a young age, but feared coming out. For good reason. Several were socially isolated when they came out, or forced to go to reparative therapy if they wished to continue attending. All these people who loved and supported them were gone in a single instant.
One gay man was planning on becoming a youth minister, but when his home church found out he was barred from ever working with youth again. Another had his mother go ballistic and said every mean thing you should never say to your son. Each story more powerful than the last. Haters make me insane sometimes. Why break down, when you can build up?
When the time came for prayer requests I put forth my baby brother’s name. I know he doesn’t think much of prayer. Sometimes I too debate its efficacy, but he should know that even though these people don’t know him like I know him, that they care.
The next meeting is next month. There I will tell my story. I will come out, and be brave, because my brother is brave every day. Every day that he has to walk the halls of his high school, he is brave. I will tell his story, so that they understand the importance of such a group like this. So that maybe, just maybe we can save young gay lives like my brother's.
QBP: "Dear, America. When you tell Gay Americans that they can’t serve their country openly, or marry the person that they love, you're telling that to kids too. Don’t be fuckin shocked and wonder where all these bullies are coming from that are torching young kids and driving them to kill themselves because they’re different. They learned it from watching you." -Sarah Silverman